Saturday, August 11, 2007

Official Liars and Thieves want a Perpetual War

Daily Show explores mysteries of missing stuff in Iraq

David Edwards and Nick Juliano
Published: Friday August 10, 2007

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Daily Show host Jon Stewart has a novel explanation for the fact that the military has lost nearly 200,000 firearms in Iraq.

The military says the misplacement of 190,000 AK-47s and pistols was just a "clerical error." Stewart tries to clarify that explanation by displaying "Army Field Weaponry Procurement Form 1-A-3," which has two boxes; check one for "lose these," and another for "don't lose these." Turns out the Army just checked the wrong box.

"This is not the first mysterious happening of our four-year venture in Iraq," Stewart notes, citing previous disappearances of 380 tons of explosives, $12 billion in cash and 300,000 barrels of oil per day.

"How does this happen?" he asks. "Explosives, guns, oil, money. These aren't things people would just take for no reason, and they they've vanished without a trace in Iraq. Coincidence? Or profound incompetence?

"I say neither," Stewart continues. "As a geographical cartologist -- amature -- I believe the unique topographical features of Iraq form a natural -- but extremely powerful -- magicians hat."

The satirical host says if we could just "reach our hands deep enough into the sands of the Euphrates, we would find the money, the weapons, the oil and -- let's say -- 40 percentage points of President Bush's approval rating."

The following video is from Comedy Central's The Daily Show, broadcast on August 8.

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